


gotham nine-nine

by caecily



Category: DCU (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV) Fusion, Don't copy to another site, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-05
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2021-01-23 12:34:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21320272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caecily/pseuds/caecily
Summary: In which Kon's relative Clark Kent visits the Nine-Nine.
Relationships: Tim Drake/Kon-El | Conner Kent
Comments: 6
Kudos: 70





	gotham nine-nine

**Author's Note:**

> Another random old fic from my notes!

"So, gentleman," Dick said in a low voice. "Bets on what today's face means?"

"Constipation?" Kon suggested, and Tim groaned. 

"Kon, you say that every day. No, he's really worried. I can tell."

"If he were upset, it would only be because two of his detectives are utterly unworthy of the title," Damian said snidely. "He is clearly delighted. I have never seen Father so happy."

At that moment, Captain Wayne opened his office door and walked past, face set in the same unchanging non-expression as always.

"How's it going, boss?" Dick called out.

"An old friend of mine, Clark Kent, is visiting our precinct today," Bruce replied. "I am delighted, yet deeply concerned regarding the behavior of my detectives." A flat look at all four of them. "Carry on, detectives."

"… So one point for Tim and Damian each?" Dick said in an undertone as Bruce walked away. He unfolded the scoresheet and marked down one point each. Damian was leading by one point, with Tim in close second, Dick a distant third. The presence of Kon's column on the scoresheet was mainly optimism on Dick's part, given that Kon had yet to score.

"Clark Kent," Tim said thoughtfully. "Any relation of yours, Kon?"

Kon nodded, wide-eyed and panicked. "Dude, you gotta help me impress him! Could you call me Superboy in front of Clark?"

"_No_."

"Boy of Steel?"

Tim chose not to dignify that with a response.

\---

By the time that Clark arrived, Kon had borrowed an extra suit jacket from Dick, and stolen extra paperwork from Tim to look more productive. Tim let him, on the condition that Kon actually do all of the paperwork that he borrowed. He'd even produced glasses from somewhere.

Clark turned out to be friendly and soft-spoken, clearly kindly-disposed towards the precinct. Kon trailed after him like a lost puppy, radiating eagerness to please.

Tim sighed internally and resigned himself to the inevitable. 

"Hey, Superboy, need any help with that paperwork?" Tim said, picking up the stack on Kon's desk. "I can finish this if you and Clark want to spend some time together."

"Thanks, Tim, you're the best!" Kon said, shooting Tim a grateful look.

"Superboy, huh," Tim heard Clark saying as they left. "They used to call me Superman, did you know?"

Tim waited just long enough for Kon and Clark to get out of hearing distance before turning to Dick and Damian. "Look, we have to help him," Tim hissed.

Damian snorted. "Tt. _We_ need do no such thing. Simply because _you_ have a ridiculous crush on Kent--"

"Help me or I'm telling Bruce about what really happened to the perp who kicked cats," Tim cut in.

"--Very well."

\---

Twenty minutes later, they were in a park near Kon's house. Damian was up on Dick's shoulders, coaxing his cat Mittens into the tree, while Tim was preparing their witness.

"I want ten bucks," Billy said, holding his hand out. "In advance, mister." Tim pushed the money into his hand.

"Half now, half when you deliver," Tim countered. "Remember your instructions?"

"Call for Superboy, cry about the cat being stuck, tell him he's my hero," Billy recited. "I got it."

With that settled, Tim retreated into the bushes for cover with Dick and Damian.

"Surely there must be an easier way to announce your intentions than this farce," Damian grumbled.

"I'm not -- Shut up, they're coming."

Billy ran up to Kon and started crying on cue -- Tim had to admire the kid's talent for bald-faced manipulation. He had a solid career in politics ahead of him. Clark and Kon followed Billy over to the tree, where Kon started shimmying up the tree, calling out to the cat.

It was at this point that things went terribly wrong. Tim had not accounted for the fact that Mittens was a furry demon from hell -- like owner, like pet -- and scratched Kon as he reached. With a startled cry, Kon fell, taking the cat with him.

Tim was running over to Kon before he'd actually thought it through. "Kon! Kon, are you all right?" he said anxiously, crouching over him. Mittens had already made a break for freedom, running towards the bushes where Damian hid.

"I'm all right," Kon said, sitting up quickly. "Tim? When did you get here?" He frowned and ran a hand through Tim's hair, pulling out a twig. "Were you attacked by a bush?"

"Yes, Kon, I need you to rescue me from the landscaping arrangements," Tim said dryly.

"I'll show 'em what's up if they hurt you," Kon promised grandly. Clark coughed gently above them, and Tim sprang back.

"I'll just let you guys get back to your business," he said awkwardly. "I'll see you tomorrow, Kon."

Billy was tugging insistently at his sleeve, so Tim dug in his pocket without looking and snuck the first bill he found into the kid's hand. Since Billy grinned and vanished, Tim had a sinking suspicion he'd just lost a twenty. Oh, well.

"Why don't you join us, Tim?" Clark said. "Kon talks about you all the time, I feel like I almost know you already."

"Clark!" Kon protested, turning bright red. Behind them, in the bushes, Dick grinned and gave Tim a thumbs-up.

"I wouldn't want to impose," Tim demurred, but Clark had some kind of weaponized midwestern charm, and Tim found himself shepherded along to the restaurant. 

The maitre d' had only just shown them to a table when Clark's phone beeped. His eyebrows flew up as he read the text.

"Is something wrong, Clark?" Kon asked, brow furrowed.

"I'm sorry, I uh, I have to run. Lois will kill me if I don't get this scoop," he said, avoiding eye contact. It would've been a more believable story if Tim hadn't caught a glimpse of his screen, with a text from Dick on it. "You two stay and enjoy dinner!" Clark called over his shoulder as he made a run for it.

Kon hid his face behind his hands. "Oh, god, I'm so sorry," he said, muffled. "Clark is not nearly as subtle as he thinks."

"I'm pretty sure that was Dick texting him just now, so rest assured, my family is just embarrassing as yours," Tim said grimly.

Kon finally put his hands down, still looking a bit red. "What do you say we plan a double homicide and then cover each other's alibis?"

"What else are partners for?" Tim said, and Kon finally laughed. "But, uh…" His stomach churned, but he forced the words out nonetheless. "We could finish our date first. Save the murder for after dessert."

Kon stared at him. Just when Tim was about to slink under the table, or just run out of the restaurant, Kon blinked and started grinning. "Sounds like a plan, partner."


End file.
